1. The Fat Guy
Ohmigod! A lineman listed at 290 pounds showed up closer to 300! Let’s all FREAK OUT! Who could have predicted an incredibly overweight person would gain a few pounds over six months of down time? He needs to drop weight – and FAST! – to show that he is dedicated to his profession and his team.
(Then, once the season starts, he can pack as much weight as he wants to back on because no one will be weighing him so it won’t be an issue. And we need him to control the line of scrimmage. So, please, get heavy again!)